Dan McCarthy: piano and singing
James Maakestad: upright bass and singing

Recorded at home by Ben Brodin on April 14, 2012. Mixed by Ben at ARC Studios in Omaha, Nebr.

Plays the Piano

I woke up Sunday morning, didn't smell too good.
Smelled no better Monday, don't know why I would.
I didn't take a shower, but I did a little work.
I work for myself, and my boss is a jerk.
I work for myself, and my boss is a jerk.

I don't mind Monday, it's the same as every day
Except the newspaper's skinny, and I get a little more mail.
But it isn't the bad news that's been losing weight,
And since your letters quit, it's all bills to be paid.
Since you quit writing to me, it's only bills to be paid.

The dishes in the sink ain't gonna do themselves.
If wishes were washers, I'd have dishwashing wealth.
The only thing that happens on its own is getting old.
I do my own cooking, and the food's always cold.
I do my own cooking, and the food's always cold.

I told you two o'clock, I wish I would've said one.
I'm at the piano, waiting for you to come.
The last time you were on time, time stepped on its own toe.
Now I hear your knuckles knocking at my door.
Now I hear your knuckles knocking at my door.

Two Forty-Seven, July 18, 2011

The Favorite

It was a good thing we had the coal plant
When the river flooded Fort Calhoun.
Who knew you could drown a nuclear reactor?
But the traffic from the swing shift
And the power company's tree­trimming crews
Makes it hard to pull out of Ponderosa Village.

It reminded you of Bonanza.
It was what we could afford.
It'd be handy to pick your mom up from the airport.
But like most TV cowboys,
I never learned to ride a horse.
Makes it hard to get out of Ponderosa Village.

To call it a trailer is such a misnomer:
You can't hitch it up, and it ain't going nowhere.

There's a shared tornado shelter
Where we gather when the sirens ring.
That last time it felt like New Year's, with the women screaming.
But a couple of power lines
And a couple of namesake pines
Were all it brought down on Ponderosa Village.

Ponderosa Village

Come on, it's New Year's Day:
Why don't we listen to Hank
And find a new game to play with dominoes?
Old Hank died 59 years ago.
“Why Should We Try Anymore?”
Because the best thing we do —
I guess I don't know about you —
But the best thing I do is to sing a song.
It's the right thing to do, even when you do it wrong.

What did you do last night,
Did you set the woods on fire?
Neither did I, I was in bed by twelve.
I rang it in like the Liberty Bell:
Just wishing I'd never cracked.
Maybe this'll be the year you finally grow a beard.
Maybe I'll grow tall and handsome.
I'm afraid I'd have to pray for a miracle, and then some.

For now, it's New Year's Day
And we're listening to Hank.
What the hell, we might as well play cribbage.
Is this for glory, or is it just a scrimmage?
I'll be damned, how'd you get that score?
You got 15 - ­2 - ­4 - ­6 - ­8 - ­10 - ­12 - ­14 - ­16
And another dozen for four of a kind.
Cousin, nobs gives you 29:
Hank's age when he died.

Swipesy

I don't want you to think
That you gotta keep me happy.
I don't want you to think
That you gotta make me smile.
I don't want you to think
That you gotta keep me happy.
You've got better things to do with your time.

Like for one thing, I think
You oughta keep being pretty.
For one thing, I think
You oughta keep looking fine.
For one thing, I think
You oughta keep being pretty.
It really takes a load off my mind.

My happiness is a side effect:
You are serious medicine.
My happiness is a side effect:
You are a powerful drug.
My happiness is a side effect:
Like evil is to free will.
My happiness is a side effect of you.

Evil/Free Will

Dorothy seems sweet, but there's nothing natural about her.
She's pretty in pink, but her color comes from a can.
She's from Central Nebraska, but she flirts with a Southern accent.
Dorothy, how you ever gonna keep an honest man?

She put every scratch and ding in her daddy's old Honda,
But her new cowboy boots got scuffed up in a sweatshop in Uganda.
The gold in her hair, I am told, comes out of a bottle.
So, I'm afraid, does her deep bronze, spray-on tan.

It doesn't have to be gospel, it's just how you feel.
You don't have to be genuine for your love to be real.

The man she called John had never gone as far as Vermont,
But he was real sweet; he and Dorothy had a lot in common.
He'd been to Normal and Norman, but he kept on coming back
To the town where his buddies at the bar called him Hungry Jack.

His old car from high school, his ball glove, and other things he'd lost.
But the one thing he missed the most was Dorothy's bubble gum lip gloss.
There's no need for a young man to sit and watch cable alone.
When Dorothy came over, she joked, “There's no taste like home.”

It doesn't have to be gospel, it's just how you feel.
You don't have to be genuine for your love to be real.
It's not Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John; it's just how you feel.
You don't have to be genuine for your love to be real.

Credits

Plays the Piano

1. Two Forty-Seven, July 18, 2011

2. The Favorite

3. Ponderosa Village

4. 29

5. Swipesy

6. Evil/Free Will

7. The Ballad of Dorothy Lynch

8. Solace